I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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