I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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