If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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