found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
