i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
