what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
