Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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