Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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