If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
