She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
