Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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