Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
