no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
