The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
