Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
