Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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