my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
