when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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