it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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