i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
