I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize