so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize