It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
