You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The beer is more important than you right now.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
