TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
