Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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