yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
