four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Someone signed my nipple.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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