Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
