I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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