Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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