So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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