take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
zippers are such a cool invention
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
