I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
how drunk are you?
Several
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize