let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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