We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
