Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
