i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
