I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
