In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Randomize
