so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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