): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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