btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
