I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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