dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My dick has a subreddit
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
