So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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