after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
