when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
