I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
