the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he shaved USA in his pubs
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
