Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Dignity is for republicans.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
