AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
