very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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