'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
