I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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