i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
